“Have no friends not equal to yourself.”
These last few days have been incredibly frustrating for me. I’ve lots someone I considered a friend. I’ve told everyone that it’s done and over with, but at the same time I can’t help but feel like there’s a hint of a string that’s still latched on to the entire situation. I feel like I’m stuck right now in a place where I can either spring forward and really become the person that I have been fighting to be for so long, or I can fall back into my old ways of just not caring about myself anymore. I really don’t want to do that.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened between me and someone that I called my “friend”. I’ve come to terms with the fact that we will and can not ever be friends again after the words and actions that have been exchanged, but I can’t help but me sad about the situation.
I have a hard time comprehending the things that people are capable of doing and saying to other people without (to my knowledge) any kind of remorse.
The hurt from this current situation with my “friend” will fade. What bothers me more if I am still in the dark about the entire reason why they decided to end this friendship with me. I can only come up with the idea that maybe there’s other things going on in their life that are beyond me that I can’t control. I have such a hard time letting things go. I wish it was more simple, honestly.
I found some quotes from a Buddhist book I have that has sparked a lot of contemplation about the way I treat myself….
“You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere.”
The video that I’ve posted is just a song that I’ve been listening to on repeat tonight. I love Clint Mansell.
